Prayer and Ethics

Personal Ethical Statement

As a minister, member of my spiritual community, and follower of Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God and Savior of the World, I believe I am called by God to proclaim His love. I am also called to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God each day. (Micah 6:8). As I move through each day, I follow the path of conduct as revealed to me by scripture and when I pray the Orthodox prayer of the Optina Elders. I adopt the following principles so that by further prayer, practice, and self-discipline, and reliance on Grace, I may testify to the love of God and become a worthy example for those I seek to lead and serve each day.

The Prayer of the Optina Elders

Grant unto me, O Lord, that with peace of mind I may face all that this new day is to bring.

•    I will set apart Jesus Christ as Lord of this day and all of my activities, events, and relationships. I will be prepared to give an answer to any who ask about the peace I have in my day. (1 Peter 3:15)

Grant unto me to dedicate myself completely to Your Holy Will.

• I shall give my undivided love to God. (Deut. 6:5) I will not spend this day pursuing the false idols of wealth, comfort, security, or power.

• I will pursue the path of obedience. This includes yielding to God as He speaks to me, in accordance with the guidance He has already provided in His Word. I believe all Scripture comes from God and is useful in discerning His will and instructing others in that discernment.  (Ex. 20, 2 Timothy 3:16). Wherever possible, I will use scripture to guide my own behavior to the best of my understanding, and I will counsel others by its teachings to the best of my understanding so that we may be in accordance with God’s will.
• I will yield to the authorities instituted by God for my own safety and well being, because they can guide me toward the will of God.  (1 Pet. 2:13-17). This includes the civil government (Rom. 13:1-11),  church government (1 Tim. 2), family government, and community relationships (Heb. 10:24-25, Eph. 5:21)

For every hour of this day, instruct and prepare me in all things.

• As a Christian, minister, teacher, and member of my community, I commit to regular and sufficient time for development of intellectual and spiritual capacities. This includes study of the bible, current thought, and the expressions of the human experience as found in art, music, and literature so that I may better apprehend God’s nature and its daily revelation to people; and so also that I may use my skills, talents, and gifts to bring glory and honor to Christ and my community.

•  I will manage my time, resources, relationships, and gifts so that I can maintain vitality in my ministry as well as physical, emotional, mental, and relational health in my family and community. (Eph. 5:15)

Whatsoever tidings I may receive during the day, teach me to accept tranquilly, in the firm conviction that all eventualities fulfill Your Holy Will.

•   To the best of my ability, I will respond to the events and news of the day with peace, grace, hope, joy, and love, through prayer and practicing the presence of God.

•  I will not complain (Phil 2:14) and I will rejoice and offer prayers of thanksgiving in response to ALL things. (Phil. 4:4-7)

•   I will communicate with others in a way that facilitates their tranquil acceptance of the events and news of the day, humbling considering the needs of others as I discern where and how to speak. (Phil. 2:3)

Govern, Lord, my thoughts and feelings in all I do and say.

•   I will make every effort to be self-controlled and alert, preparing for action, and controlling my thought life so that I may grow in peace and obedience, both internally and  by my actions. (1 Pet. 5:8, 2 Cor. 10:5)

•   I will make every effort to speak the truth, as best as I understand it, in love. (Eph 4:15)

•   I will bless, not curse, either in thought to action, those who offend, grieve, or persecute me. (Rom. 12:14)

•   I will seek to speak only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs. (Eph 4.29)

When things unforeseen occur, let me not forget that all comes down from You.

•  I will work to remember that God has a plan for my day and my life, and that God is active in arranging my circumstances for my good and His glory. (Prov. 19:1, Prov. 16:9)

Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward every member of my family, that I may bring confusion and sorrow to none.

•  Family is defined as both biological and those assigned to me by God, discerned through prayer, in my spiritual community. (Eph 4:25)

•   I will seek peace and pursue it in my community, regardless of my preference or feelings toward another person. (1 Pet 3:11). I will not hold grudges or leave a conflict unsolved. (Eph 4:26-27)

•   I will be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. (Jas 1:19)

• I will strive in my communication and relationships to be pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere, so that as a Christian, minister, and member of my community and family I may exemplify the wisdom and righteousness of God. (Jas 3:17)

Bestow upon me, my Lord, strength to endure the fatigue of the day, and to bear my part in all its passing events.

•  In my profession, I will work as unto the Lord, doing all things in the name of Jesus. This means working to the best of my ability, as efficiently as possible. (Col. 3:17 &23).

• When the demands of the day tempt me to despair, I will not. Instead, I will remember that Christ is my strength. (Phil 4:13)

•    I will  aspire to live quietly, and to mind my own affairs, and to work with my hands, so that I may walk properly before outsiders and be able to contribute to my family and community. (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12)

•   I will take every opportunity this day affords to care for widows and orphans as they cross my path, and to show mercy to both the poor in body and poor in spirit.

Guide, Lord, my will today and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer, to forgive, and to love.

Amen

New Office Tenant

Tim, our church's intern, has a new pet he collected at China Camp State Park. It lives in my old candy jar on his desk in my old office. I saw it, and I was reminded of a poem sent to me by a friend some years ago. He sent it to me because I was studying prayer.

ISKANDARIYA by Bridget Pegeen Kelly

It was not a scorpion I asked for, I asked for a fish, but
maybe God misheard my request, maybe God thought
I said not "some sort of fish," but a "scorpion fish," a
request he would surely have granted, being a goodly
God, but then he forgot the "fish" attached to the
"scorpion" (because God, too, forgets, everything
forgets); so instead of an edible fish, any small fish,
sweet or sour, or even the grotesque buffoonery of the
striped scorpion fish, crowned with spines and
followed by many tails, a veritable sideshow of a fish;
instead of these, I was given an insect, a peculiar
prehistoric creature, part lobster, part spider, part
bell-ringer, part son of a fallen star, something like a
disfigured armored dog, not a thing you can eat, or
even take on a meaningful walk, so ugly is it, so stiffly
does it step, as if on ice, freezing again and again in
mid-air like a listening ear, and then scuttling
backwards or leaping madly forward, its deadly tail
doing a St. Vitus jig. God gave me a scorpion, a
venomous creature, to be sure, a bug with the bite of
Cleopatra's asp, but not, as I soon found out, despite
the dark gossip, a lover of violence or a hater of men.
In truth, it is shy, the scorpion, a creature with eight
eyes and almost no sight, who shuns the daylight, and
is driven mad by fire, who favors the lonely spot, and
feeds on nothing much, and only throws out its poison
barb when backed against a wall— a thing like me,
but not the thing I asked for, a thing, by accident or
design, I am now attached to. And so I draw the
curtains, and so I lay out strange dishes, and so I step
softly, and so I do not speak, and only twice, in many
years, have I been stung, both times because,
unthinking, I let in the terrible light. And sometimes
now, when I watch the scorpion sleep, I see how fine he
is, how rare, this creature called Lung Book or Mortal
Book because of his strange organs of breath. His
lungs are holes in his body, which open and close. And
inside the holes are stiffened membranes, arranged
like the pages of a book— imagine that! And when the
holes open, the pages rise up and unfold, and the blood
that circles through them touches the air, and by this
bath of air the blood is made pure... He is a house of
books, my shy scorpion, carrying in his belly all the
perishable manuscripts— a little mirror of the library
at Alexandria, which burned.

What have we here?

A Levenger catalog came in the mail today, and it featured THIS interesting thing.

Why didn't we think of it sooner?

Leaving 2009

It’s an oak, I think, outside my door

It, too, has had enough of this year

In two days, two months late,

Set itself aflame

A phoenix.

Impetuous

Prone to extremes

Withering transitions intolerable

It’s the only one left on the lane

With any green

With any leaves.

There’s no stopping it now

Two more days

Crimson, golden scales

Will launch

Drift

Land like fireworks.

In two more days

For two more months

Standing naked

Shameless

Greater in Spirit and Truth.

What I'm Reading

I came across the most annoying thing the other day: I was reading and in the middle of the book, for three chapters, the pages were out of order! 148, 152, 151, 150, 149, 153, 154, 155, 156, 161... and on. I have never had a book where the printing flaws were so debilitating! I figured it's because I only paid $.75 for it at a used book sale, but still! Someone should have put a warning sticker on McCarthy's Bar: Warning: This book was assembled by an Irishman who has had too much Guinness.

I have been plowing through a few other things since Christmas, and in honor of having just finished the school year, I thought I'd post the list of books I have a new capability finishing in the coming weeks (provided all of the pages are in order).

I'm well into, and sure to imminently finish:

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, by Annie Dillard
The Writing Life, by Annie Dillard
McCarthy's Bar, by Pete McCarthy - a travel narrative to get ready for my trip!
The Dubliners, James Joyce
The Jesus I Never Knew by Phillip Yancey
Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? by Phillip Yancey
For the Love of Ireland: A Literary Companion for Readers and Travelers by Susan Cahill

Notebooks

This summer, I started making my own books. I really love my Moleskine, but I wanted something with the same design of different sizes, distinct appearance, and varying page count. I need to tell one notebook from another.

From my moleskine design, I kept:

• blank, non-lined paper (a must! also hard to find in notebooks instead of sketchbooks)
  
• a closure
• a hard cover
  
• pocket
  
• a bookmark ribbon
  
• and hand-sewn pages that lay fully flat

I added:

• unique cover art
• varying page count
  
• wider page width

I have made about twenty now, and I gave most away as gifts. This is my most recent and some of my most favorite work:

Travel top-fives

I've spent a lot of time in airports this week, which got me thinking about my travel routines, particularly when I travel alone.


Five things I always do in an airport:

1. Buy magazines. I rarely indulge my appreciation for the Economist or The New Yorker.
2. Buy a bottle of water-- because I can't carry one through security.
3. People Watch. I usually travel alone, so while I am in the airport, there is a constant internal commentary on the people I see and the fiction I impose on them.
4. Wish I were carrying less.
5. Try not to look like an amateur. I don't know why I care or where this comes from. I always walk with purpose and go through security with the efficiency of a person who does this every day. I really don't, but this mindfulness let's me internally judge all of the other apparent "amateurs".

Five things I consider irreplaceable
I can't live without them.
Ironically, they are the five things I must have when I travel, which is where I am most likely to lose them.

1. My makeup bag--It's taken me years to find just the right versions of everything and to acquire that designer collection.
2. My Notebook--It's always worse on the way home, because I'd have lost my most recent travel notes.
3. My ipod. I shouldn't have to explain this one.
4. My pen. Since I spend so much time by myself, I always want to write more. This requires a good pen, but then if I lose one of my pens here, I'll never get it back.
5. My red messenger bag. I got this one in Florence, Italy, after years of searching and saving. It has all of the right travel pockets, including one for my boarding pass, drivers' license, and phone. I often get compliments on it; it's distinctive and beautiful, as well as (for me) uncommonly utilitarian.

For Those Wondering How I Spent My Break

they should consult the following tableau:

The only significant thing missing is George Herbert, who is 2 years old today.

Some Favorite Things

Home Thoughts from Abroad

I am home now from my Grand Tour of Europe with my students--London, Paris, Rome, and Florence. I was wishing earlier today that I had been able to blog as I went along, but I doubt I would have been pleased with the results.

In fact, now, as I seek to do high-points and low points in my characteristic list-style, I am annoyed already at my own cheesy superlatives.

But here is the thing: What else is there?

What does one use to describe the Colesseum? This ____ engineering feat and ____ amphitheatre in history until the last 50 years? What words go there that don't ALSO end in -est ?

And what of the Houses of Parliament, the lions in Trafalgar Square, and the Big Ben Clocktower? How could I describe things everyone recognizes?

Is there a more distinctive landmark than the Eiffel Tower? Surely that warrants superlatives.


The problem with the superlatives I'd need to describe where we were is that they don't really mean anything other than "big." And they might best describe the thing, but it doesn't convey the importance of the experience.


Why do we visit these things, anyway? What is it about them that makes it a universally meaningful experience? Why are they the things everyone is supposed to see before they die? How much of why we like them is because they are famous? How much of their meaning is derived from their status of recognition?

For the record, I tell the students about how the Eiffel Tower is a monument to the industrial revoltion and the cofidence of Man in machines' ability to create a better society. I point out, how, for better or worse, the tower is the symbol for a city that has been shaping and articulating western thought significantly for 500 years. I explain the government model found in Parliament, and Lord Nelson's role in defeating a geopolitical aggressor in Napoleon at the Battle of Trafalgar. The Colosseum represents the height of empire, and we talk about how the world interacts with empire and the fate of it. Maybe this helps, maybe the students don't care because what they are seeing is fantastic in its own right.

I am not much for getting a rockstar's autograph. I don't really see the point of a sharpie scrawl by someone whose quality of life on tour is generally lower than mine at home. I do like meeting someone though, if only to thank them for a good performance and for sharing their talent. But getting an autograph is very different from knowing the artist and cheering for them personally. An autograph is the landmark to say someone was there in person.

For me, the landmarks and the Kodak phototops serve as proof I was there in person. The point of going is to be in these places,though, not just get the pictures. My "show" this time included a conversation with the French Police about Sarkozy's security policy and the dilemma of immigration; refining my taste for cappucino at a couple of dozen cafes, mesmermized by the barista rhythm; and chatting with an Oxford-trained space expert in Holland park, after getting scones and cream.

The trouble I have with landmarks is that they can no more explain an experience than a ticket-stub signature can sing the solos and ad-libs unique to live music. Landmarks can barely explain their own reason for existence.

I think the difference between touring (which we certainly did) and travelling (which we did only a little) is the difference between an autograph and a performance. An autograph is useful in its own right, but only for nostalgia and status recognition. Much greater memory and delight is found in the actual show. Travellers seek the show more than the signature.

I hope my students when we were travelling were not so focused on getting the autograph that they forgot to enjoy the show.

Not into Thrill Rides

I always thought that if I wrote for a living (in those rare moments short on self-consciousness) I'd write fiction. People say you are supposed to write what you like reading most--and I find the right novel ranks among one of earth's greatest pleasures.

But the person I am now probably couldn't write fiction. I can't bear to let things unfold on their own--a characteristic that makes me unbearable company for film-watching. I must know what comes next.

Woe is the man who has seen the movie when I haven't and knows what happens when I don't.

My friend Dave talks about his ultimate adventure being a roll-the-dice roadtrip. He thinks one should get up in the morning with the map and roll to see whether to go North, South, East, West, or to stay put. Another die says how long to drive and how long to stay.

When I consider this, my heart races in panic. Where do we start? Where do we stay? What do we eat? When do we stop for gas? When will we stop at all? What if we go too far? What if we get lost? How do we get home? How much will this cost?

That is not an ultimate adventure. That is an ultimate nightmare.

Right now, I feel fiction's departure from reality as a weighty responsibility--make that liability. Even if I "write from real life" (as everyone is advised), I still must launch characters from the known shore. But doing that means I don't know they'll be able to get back. Maybe good fiction doesn't care if it gets lost at sea, but I won't risk sailing off the edge of the earth.

It's not worth it to me.

The actual writing of the fiction, to me, bears the same horror as Dave's ideal vacation.

And I don't think it is supposed to.