Phrases That Should Not Appear in a Facebook feed.

One of the things that explains my fixation on Facebook is that it functions as a repository for funny turns of phrase, which I can post as statuses. At the same time, many people see their Status as a kind of self-identification and expect some authenticity in it. What do I do with turns of phrase that should not be authentically applied? Here are a few examples:

is senora pantalones del fuego.
is fast, cheap, and classic.
is learning you should always toast your nuts.
is free. First come, first served.
is sober, Officer, she swears.
is cool, minty bliss.

Of course, one might speculate that Facebook is also not the place for profoundly veritable labels either.