Finding the Art in Everything

15 January, 2008

Driving Thoughts, Part I

A couple of wacky moments with a student (who is seeming less and less like one) had me thinking about my accessibility--that I have a lot of it. It is a little awkward when it comes to students, and the one I have now isn't my first. I had my British student Gemma last summer with whom I routinely found myself in uncommon student-teacher situations. I used to work at Panera in the evenings with my students, particularly my AP kids, and then there was my unauthorized camping trip... I can't explain these any other way than that I just have a lot of space in my life for my students.

Actually, I just see that I have a lot of space in my life in general, and my students are welcome to fill some, if they want. I'm not married, don't have kids, and don't have a demanding family situation. I don't live near my favorite friends who would consume my time. I don't really have a "group." I have my job, my dog, and my small apartment where I live alone. I can see this one of two ways: I can feel like a loser because on paper my life is empty and pointless, or I can see it as space to be filled by unusual and delightful things.

It is this space and this emptiness that leaves me in the strange spot of not only being accessible to students, but also open to everything. I'll talk to anyone, and I crave interesting conversation, no matter its source. (I wonder if it's because I live alone and don't go home to talk to anyone.) I often worry my eagerness weirds people out. With nothing pressing to do, I look forward to everything, and I am up for anything. I am also deeply appreciative of any personal interaction.

All this begs these questions: What am I supposed to do with all this space? What could I do to make sure I don't squander it? How can I enjoy it, without letting the quest to fill it dominate my life?

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